September 25, 2006
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I FOUND THE SCREAM
© drc 1997
I found the scream that welled within
upon the thought of trying
yet again
to be vulnerable.It swelled up in a growl:
a fierce, dark bowl of furyof pain.
a near-vomiting,
ugly soundwrithing and slithering
yet
ripping and shredding my lungs
with raw
and horrible
sounds.An unearthly, screeching groan
with such an ugly face behind it.
a dying
cryRAW
that feels like
being skinned aliveand then covered with alcohol
and thenbeing lit by a match
I will NOT be vulnerable AGAIN.
I WILL NOT!
I found that scream,
but I did not let it out.It was too horrible to be heard
even by me.© drc 1997
Comments (2)
Ah but sometimes the pain of vulnerability is a sweet pain indeed. Don't give up just yet, my dear. There is much more to be experienced!
I felt that kinda pain where I want to vomit. Heart ache can tear a life apart. The Lord says to focus on Him when such pain is there. It takes practise but end result is Power from Him. And we need that kinda Power because our minds could break or bitter and anger takes over. Trust is such a big issue today. I don't have to trust anyone completely because only love I can trust is the Lords. As long as we have Jesus every day our hearts, mind and life is safe.
(((((hugs)))))
vanida...sister in Christ.
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