September 25, 2006


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    I FOUND THE SCREAM
    © drc 1997


    I found the scream that welled within
    upon the thought of trying

    yet again
    to be vulnerable.

    It swelled up in a growl:
    a fierce, dark bowl of fury

    of pain.

    a near-vomiting,
    ug    ly sound

    writhing and slithering
    yet
    ripping and shredding my lungs
    with raw
    and horrible
    sounds.

    An unearthly, screeching groan
    with such an ugly face behind it.


    a dying
    cry

    RAW

    that feels like
    being skinned alive

    and then covered with alcohol
    a    nd then

    being lit by a match

    I will NOT be vulnerable AGAIN.

    I WILL NOT!

    I found that scream,
    but I did not let it out.

    It was too horrible to be heard
    even by me.

    © drc 1997

Comments (2)

  • Ah but sometimes the pain of vulnerability is a sweet pain indeed.  Don't give up just yet, my dear.  There is much more to be experienced!

  • I felt that kinda pain where I want to vomit. Heart ache can tear a life apart. The Lord says to focus on Him when such pain is there. It takes practise but end result is Power from Him. And we need that kinda Power because our minds could break or bitter and anger takes over. Trust is such a big issue today. I don't have to trust anyone completely because only love I can trust is the Lords. As long as we have Jesus every day our hearts, mind and life is safe.

    (((((hugs)))))

    vanida...sister in Christ.

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